


How Long Will It Take?

by NorthwesternInsanity



Category: Music RPF, Scorpions (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Humor, Band Drama, Drama, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Misplaced Anger, Shameless vent fic, Understanding, argument, fear of losing people
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:28:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25985149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NorthwesternInsanity/pseuds/NorthwesternInsanity
Summary: "We Are Still Here..."Blackout recording era. Klaus is about to be sent home from the hospital after a difficult first week of recovery from surgery. Meanwhile, the rest of the band are facing the reality of beginning to record their instrumental parts for the album while waiting out his recovery. Tensions flare in the studio over a few decisions to make the adjusted recording process as easy as possible. After spending most of the last week at the hospital trying to reassure and support Klaus while fearing for his well being, Rudolf takes a suggestion from Dieter Dierks the wrong way and loses his temper as the weight of everything becomes too much to bear alone. His bandmates realize that Klaus isn't the only one in need of extra help, but that they all could use some support in uncertain times.
Kudos: 3





	How Long Will It Take?

**Author's Note:**

> ETA: Should add by typical Scorpions fic disclaimer. They're a German band; thus, the characters aren't native English speakers, though they do speak English with a limited vocabulary, and some of the guys are more fluent than others. In reality, with a situation like this where they're by themselves, they'd speak in German here. However, since A: I don't know German well enough to write all their dialogue in it, and B: the other fiction site I post to only accepts stories in English, I write their dialogue in English with grammatical oddities and awkward wording, to represent how they would say it if they were speaking in English. (Also, I grew up with Italian grandparents, so that helps with coming up with the broken English pattern, in addition to interviews to learn certain things specific to each, and how well they tend to do).

Ominous clouds lined the sky over Hanover, carrying the cool wind of a storm that was narrowly passing by, just distant enough that the rain would miss the city. 

Rudolf Schenker had driven through the very edge of the zone of rainfall as he resisted the urge to turn down the road that would take him to the hospital Klaus Meine was still recovering from vocal surgery in, instead of continuing further down the autobahn to turn off toward the studio. 

Ordinarily, the raindrops thinning out until they were gone would have been something he'd have been happy about, but it didn't make Rudolf feel any better today as it was another sign he was getting further from Klaus, and closer to the studio where Francis Buchholz and Matthias Jabs were waiting for him, after a week apart.

Today, Herman Rarebell had gone to the hospital to spend a few hours with Klaus instead. If for nothing else than to be there for him, if he couldn't boost his morale. 

The restraint of a hospital environment left little he could do as he might have elsewhere, but Francis had mused the night before that Klaus might be touched just for the fact that a wild, party-animal like Herman had voluntarily gotten himself out of bed early in the morning and walked into a boring, sterile hospital to come see him. 

That, on top of writing on paper instead of talking too, because Klaus didn't have a choice.

At least Herman was one, along with Rudolf, to try to make talking by writing on paper fun at times. Prior to the operation, he'd turned it into a game, using a stopwatch and trying to see who could write their response to each other the fastest.

At first, it hadn't been entirely fair, as sometimes one response was significantly longer or shorter than the one before it, until Francis refreshed their more complex math skills and taught them the proper calculation to get their rate of letters per second each time. Herman and Rudolf were the only two crazy enough to regularly play the game -or manage to get Klaus to feel up to playing it.

Albeit Rudolf only did it half the time, as the one who had most of the more serious conversations with Klaus, during which neither of them felt like playing around to make light of the situation. He hadn't done it at all in the aftermath of the surgery, as he hadn't had the heart to make light of anything anyway, even as things improved.

Herman's venture might have in part been a way to keep Rudolf from spending the whole day at the hospital, as he had the past week, just for the sake of ensuring the guitarist didn't go entirely crazy, or crazier than he was in normal times. Had someone else not gone, it especially would have been hard to get Rudolf out this day, as the close watch period for post-surgical complications was over, and Gabi had to run home to get things ready at the doctor's announcement that they would be sending Klaus home later in the evening. Without someone else there, he'd have been alone for sometime.

For the most part, Herman's planned trip was to ensure that Rudolf would venture into the studio to give his input on the decision they now had to face as a band, which they'd never had to face before: how to go about making progress on the album tracks before Klaus was well enough to sing. Something that was going to be stressful and challenging on all accounts, without Rudolf worrying about Klaus being alone.

The suggestion of their producer to hire a session guest to sing temporary vocal guide tracks to help record instrumental tapes ahead of time -and get the record company to stop threatening to cancel their contract -sparked an argument almost as soon as Rudolf settled in with Francis and Matthias into the unusually quiet and still studio control room.

Though with a few reservations to discuss, most of the band -Herman included -were automatically open to the possibility, with Dieter Dierks' promise that it would be on a separate track entirely, to help get instrumental timing right, and none of it would remain on the final recording.

Rudolf was not.

"No," he snapped, fire sparking in his eyes the moment he finished reading the suggestions Dieter had sent in, which Francis and Matthias had given him to read over.

The latter sighed and gazed up to the ceiling, silently thinking how Rudolf's initial reaction to the idea itself was worse than he'd already been afraid of. He and Francis already suspected there would have to be a few conditions put firmly in place before Rudolf would feel comfortable with it.

"Can we discuss this first and what we can adjust before saying no to everything?"

_"No."_

"Rudy, we cannot just say no without chance to look at-"

"No!" He repeated himself, louder this time, and cutting Matthias off. "I will not do it!"

Francis turned up one palm. "Okay, why not? We start there, then, instead of why to do it."

"You _know_ what we say to Klaus about this!"

"We will wait for him, yes, but there are still things to do while we wait, so he will not need to wait for us when he is back," Matthias explained -or tried to.

"And we can work on it _without_ help," Rudolf snapped, slamming his fist down on the edge of the table, mere inches away from the mixing board, causing Francis to gasp. "We can wait for his part. Have we not written parts of song on the bus, alone?" 

"Not at correct speed, or with right time between for lyrics. We have changed it in recording. Add other parts-"

"This is not something that will stay on recording." Sensing that it was coming, Francis put his hand down on Rudolf's wrist to stop him from slamming the table again.

Rudolf snatched his arm away, turned the swiveling desk chair around to face away, and stood up so forcefully that it rolled a couple feet and slammed into Francis' legs.

"We can do that without singing! You play in time to my track, once I play it," he yelled, holding his hands to his ears. It was uncertain if he was miming wearing headphones to play back each other's tracks, or saying he didn't want to hear it. 

Francis figured both, as he hissed to himself, rubbed at his upper shins and kneecaps, and resisted the urge to glare back at Rudolf.

Matthias held his hands up, in some crossroads between a gesture that said 'let's all calm down', attempting to explain, and throwing out suggestions.

"Okay, and what if that is too fast for Klaus to fit in the words when he is singing, or too slow?"

"Dieter can change the speed of the tape!"

"He can, but it will not work-"

"It will go down, or up, too, and it will not be in key we want -it will not sound right," explained Francis as he pushed the chair back on its wheels to where it belonged. He knew Rudolf knew that changing the speed would change the pitch too, whether it was him being so upset or overy-tired that had him seeming to have forgotten. "You will have to play it again."

"Then we will play it again when Klaus is back!" Rudolf slammed back down angrily in the chair.

"And we will take more time than already-" Matthias started.

"-I do not _care!"_

"-when we can have it right, and Klaus does his part, and it is done-"

"-it will still be done right when Klaus is back! We do not NEED anyone -we WAIT!"

Francis stood up from his own chair and reached a hand out toward Rudolf, this time, watching very carefully to dodge anything that came his way.

"Rudy, will you stop? One minute -listen to-?"

"-NO, Francis! I said why not! _I said no!"_

"-Rudy, it is not the point," Matthias tried again. "We _know_ it will be right when Klaus does it-"

"-And that is why we WAIT and DO NOT _NEED_ anyone before he is better!" Rudolf jumped up again, and this time, he grabbed the chair and slung it on its wheels to send it rolling to the other side of the room. 

It got to the doorway, caught the metal plate in the threshold, and toppled over.

"Rudolf, please, do _not_ make me shout over you." Rather than raising the volume, Matthias pushed his voice up an octave in pitch to make it audible alongside Rudolf's arguing by contrast, and held his hands up over his head, definitely gesturing a 'calm down' order now. He was visibly starting to lose his patience and done pretending that he wasn't.

The phone rang, and Rudolf swore a garbled string of mixed English and German profanities as he started to pace back and forth in front of Matthias.

"And I will not let you fight with me through this whole discussion, either. I should not _have_ to take this; I am not _going_ to take it. Do not throw things; you are going to _hurt_ someone. Calm _down."_

"I get it, I get it..." Francis held his hands out and trotted over to answer it. "Do not worry -I have it. You and you talk about it for now ...Hallo? Dieter! Yes, it is Francis... ...Yes..?" 

He looked over to Rudolf and Matthias and held a finger over his lips. Either Dieter had questions for them, or information to give.

"...Yes, we just start to discuss..."

"Do not tell me, 'calm down'. There is no discussion to have!" Rudolf yelled, intending for Francis to hear it loud and clear even while on the phone, in addition to responding to Matthias. "Same as you say it -we should not have to have this discussion, and I will not!"

Francis sighed. "...I apologize -Dieter, can you say it again...?" He pressed his fingertips over the ear that wasn't occupied by the receiver, and he stood up and stretched the cord as far as it would go to stand in the doorway, half-out in the hall, trying to hear. He had to pick up the chair again to get around it, and struggled to get it up until he resigned to tucking the receiver under his chin and using both hands.

Matthias blew up into his wispy bangs, gazing upward as he did to suppress the urge to do a full-fledged eye roll.

"Or you say that because you do not like it or _want_ to have it. That does not mean we do not HAVE to have it. This is a real problem."

The spark of fire in Rudolf's eyes turned into a a blaze of rage so strong that his body practically recoiled with it. Those were practically the same words they'd said, trying to help Klaus rationalize his fear before surgery -even if he didn't regain his ability to sing, he needed it to be able to speak, so he could live a normal life.

"How DARE you say it, same as we tell Klaus! This is not same as that!"

Matthias hissed. "Francis is on zhe phone; do not _scream!"_

"And what he is on phone for is NOT what you call _'real problem',_ " Rudolf retorted. "It is only problem if you will not be patient."

"There is more to this than to take less time for recording our parts." Matthias gathered his sense of restraint enough to soften his tone and try to sound calm again to make a point. "If you did forget, we are with a contract. There is more to worry about with this-"

"Of COURSE!" Rudolf clapped his hands together, mocking enthusiasm, before anger took over once more, even stronger. "Of _course_ we need to worry. You SHOULD, more than you DO, when our managers want for Klaus to go away, now. They ask Dieter this -they want to push him out and go on without him! You will let it happen, but I will not!"

This time, Matthias' expression softened more naturally, and not by force. Realization.

"Dieter would not tell us to discuss this if that is why it was suggested, Rudy. Nobody is _trying_ to force Klaus out. Nobody _wants_ him out."

"They are trying to set up replacement and force him in." Rudolf's volume dropped to a low, accusatory growl, which then gradually rose back up to yelling. "They are waiting for Klaus to not get better, so they get their way. They are trying to pull this band apart!"

Matthias huffed a sigh. "They are _not._ This is to help Klaus recover, and help us work on schedule while he does, so we do not lose the contract."

"No! They say it -but I have _seen_ it! How many drummers we have had before Herman? Only Rudy Lenners does not count, because he told us he wants to leave -touring started to make him sick. He could not stand it. All of the others, one could not make one or two shows, we found someone else, and they never would come back to us -who we had take their place was with us until someone else had to come when they did not make it," Rudolf ranted, throwing his hands about as he yelled. "And _you_ are proof with Michael, when he did not stay when he come back to us! How long before we say easy, 'stand in is replacement now', and Klaus is also gone?!"

"I was never _supposed_ to be stand-in. I never agreed to that, and you know it -you said I made it, from over a hundred guitar players at audition. That is why I only said I would come back to help you one more time, when I was sent away to give him another chance."

Although his tone turned sharp again and he stood his ground, Matthias ducked sideways, slightly toward the desk and away from Rudolf, feeling a bit caught off guard and overwhelmed with the sudden turn of the argument, combined with the surge of anger and yelling. 

To say that the situation with Michael Schenker's convoluted departure from the band had been messy was an understatement, and once it was finally set in stone that Matthias was staying in the band and Michael was out, he tried to avoid that subject like the plague. It had unpleasant memories for both of them, including a decision Rudolf had felt sick to make, despite knowing there was no other option that didn't involve permanently damaging his relationship with his own brother.

"Then you should _know_ better," Rudolf snapped, "YOU should be _first_ one here to say 'no' to this, and keep our promise to wait for Klaus! If you did not like it when it was happening to you!"

Now it was clear they were seeing Rudolf's unreasonable side, with him being the one to bring it up as an example when faced with another tough decision, and the fear of another loss. They were seeing the part of him that couldn't be argued with, and wouldn't see any explanation. Until it backed down some, or changed position on its own accord, there was almost nothing left to do but surrender the fight.

Even so, Francis shot a stinging, sidelong look from the doorway, where he still stood with the phone. Which was perhaps just as well for keeping him from saying plenty of things he wanted to say.

_...For you to have ANY idea how angry Klaus and Herman would be with you right now if they were here..._

"...Pardon me, Dieter _-Rudy,"_ he warned, hanging on the second syllable of Rudolf's nickname a tad longer than usual, and flexing his tone upward. "-Yes, there is a situation here. We try to get through it. What was it, that you had just said before -can you repeat...?"

"There is no stand-in for Klaus, Rudy; this is different, and there is more to it. I only have tried to explain what Dieter has told us to discuss -it is not my idea that I came up with. I do not know _what_ is the thing I have done wrong, or why you are _yelling_ at me." A bewildered tone took away from the stern, calm, ground-standing demeanor Matthias had held before as he tried in vain to make Rudolf aware of himself.

"One reason," Rudolf ordered, holding up a finger again, and shoving it toward Matthias through the air, and if it was possible for him to look even more furious than before, he did. 

"One GOOD reason why Dieter suggests it -tell me! Now!"

"The contract -we still have midway track deadline-" Matthias barely squeaked out, before Rudolf shouted again.

 _"Nein!_ You say we wait as long as he will need; I will hear _no word_ about deadlines," Rudolf snapped, pointing at Francis, first, possibly intending for Dieter to hear it in the background, too. Then, he turned back at Matthias, with repetitive, forward-jerking motions of his extended finger that made the younger guitarist flinch and duck further against the desk, looking up at him with eyes big as saucers, as if he didn't recognize the stranger in front of him anymore.

"Not ONE WORD, and not ANY deadline! None! Klaus is wonderful, hard-working singer -only HE is right for this band. We will not see any stand-in be pushed into band as _YOU_ were this time! Klaus did not do things he could stop doing to make him have this problem. He has not _left_ us with no other _choice_ after many chances. That is NOT what Klaus deserves!"

A loud squeal of feedback from the speakers in the recording pod made Francis nearly drop the phone, and made Matthias nearly jump out of his seat. In leaning closer and further forward over the latter as he ranted, Rudolf had unknowingly put his hand down on the control board and shifted his weight onto it, activating all kinds of equipment that wasn't set up right.

"Rudy, _please,_ stop. You do not -I do not think you know what you are saying. You are saying things that you do not _mean_ ...We did not _say_ that K-Klaus is not -or does n-not... - _oh, Rudy..."_

Helplessly, Matthias trailed off and started to cry. Tears flooded his eyes and stood unshed on his lower eyelids as he suddenly choked over his fading words and turned his chair to face the desk straight forward. He pressed his lips together to keep from gasping, clasped trembling hands so that his interlocked fingers turned white at the knuckles, and gazed upward and away from the thick blur obscuring his lower vision in a desperate attempt to hold it back. Not that there was much point left by then with as obvious as it was, other than saving a bit of pride.

Though he hadn't intended to disarm Rudolf with pity -or expected to end up crying at all -the tears in Matthias' eyes extinguished the fire in Rudolf's and brought him back to his senses as soon as they appeared. 

Just as soon, the Rudolf he recognized was back in his own chair -which Francis had pushed back over their way at some point -and wheeling it closer, hesitant until he saw no sign of an attempt to retreat further from him.

"Oh no, no. I am sorry," he insisted with alarm, hooking one arm around Matthias' shoulders and pulling him in toward his side as the younger guitarist's composure fully snapped from the sudden whiplash of emotions.

"Please, I do not mean to make you upset... I do not want for you to cry."

Nodding and shifting to reciprocate the one-armed hug, Matthias quietly sniffled back a hiccup and swiped at the tears that spilled over and ran down his face.

"We love having you with us. What I have said -I do not want you to think something else from it. I mean, with Klaus, it is not like with..." 

Rudolf trailed off and winced, realizing how his fear of what could happen to Klaus might have come across when projected onto the situation with Michael. Already, he didn't remember what exactly he had said, but judging by the words 'saying things that you do not mean', he knew he'd gone there. 

He also wasn't sure whether to be more relieved or concerned that Matthias had seemed more receptive to comfort than usual after the fact, still holding on with one arm.

"I am sorry," he repeated.

Matthias nodded again and then pulled away, sniffling a few more times before inhaling deeply and blowing out a slow, shaking sigh. For whatever hope was left in keeping the situation from being completely mortifying for both Rudolf and himself -granted, it couldn't get much worse -he stayed hunched over the desk and waited to get a reasonable level of control before speaking.

"Please, enough with yelling, and enough with Michael. He has no part of this; leave him out. But there is nothing else to apologize for," he finally murmured, voice strained, but steady and coherent. "I already forgive you. The way you mean -it's not that way. I _know_ already. I _said_ it. _This_ is stupid; do not worry about this. I do not know why this started or what this is coming from." He gestured to himself with a still-trembling hand and rolled his watery eyes. 

Then, he motioned to Rudolf, who now sat in tense silence, leaning slightly forward over his lap with knees together and hands gripping the edge of his chair on either side of them. In few ways different than his own position moments before, but radiating guilt instead of shock and confusion.

Rudolf seemed to lean even lower when Matthias hesitantly reached forward to place a hand on his shoulder, realizing that he hadn't been clinging for comfort moments ago when he'd hugged back, but rather, trying to comfort him too.

"Rudy, please, do not be hard on yourself. You have been, already, but do not be any worse. It will not help any of this. It will not help Klaus. It will not help _you_. You are tired, frustrated, _scared_ -we are scared for Klaus - _all of us._ We all want for him to be better, and we do not want to lose him from this band. It isn't that we do not get where you come from. I understand, it is hard, you know. For me, it is a lot, and for you, much more, probably -you have known Klaus a longer time- you want to protect him-"

"It is a lot for all of us. That is why we have this discussion. To find out what to do about it, and so that we can help you help him." Reaching a good chance to ask Dieter to call back at a better time for the less urgent matters, Francis hung the phone up and walked back over between his bandmates. Having heard the choke gradually creeping back into the youngest's voice from the word 'scared' onward, he pulled Matthias in against his chest with one arm, effectively quieting him before he could unwittingly work himself back up. He placed his other hand down on Rudolf's shoulder to take the suddenly-vacant spot, assuring him that as displeased as he was, he wasn't holding anything against him either.

Matthias stayed with Francis just long enough to hide a few more traitorous, stray tears before standing up and beginning to walk away, knowing then that he wouldn't be able to fully settle down until they dropped the subject of Rudolf's outburst for awhile -if not entirely -and got on with more important things. With a mutter to the effect of _'enough of this',_ and before he could get worked up a third time, he excused himself to the bathroom to get cleaned up.

By the time he disappeared around the turn of the door, and Francis turned back around, Rudolf had brought his heels up on the edge of his chair to sit curled in a fetal position. With his arms around his knees so he could lean forward without his heels slipping back down, his hair hung forward to cast a shadow over his eyes. He looked stricken enough that Francis feared he would break down, too, if it wasn't just that he'd scared himself as badly as he'd scared his bandmate.

"Hey. No more crying," he warned, moving over to curl his arm around Rudolf's back, while they still had privacy and it was less likely to embarrass him if he did.

"We will figure this out -how to make this not so much at one time. Matthias is more upset because you are upset than because of what you said to him, you know."

Rudolf nodded, uncharacteristically small and subdued, and not trusting his voice enough to respond with it.

What Francis said was true, and easy enough to guess even without Matthias having suggested it indirectly. Aside from some nerves over criticism for having a different playing style from Uli and Michael when he first joined, Matthias shook off most negative things people said without a second thought if it wasn't anything constructive and dismissed it as stupid. Often enough, it was stupid, anyway. Certain parts of the outburst still reverberating in the air being no exception. But whenever someone else in the band was deeply upset, or they were all in an argument, he could get sensitive. They all could, to certain degrees -the inevitable curse and blessing of caring about each other as much as they did -and the emotional last few weeks leading up to Klaus' operation had been testament to it for everyone. Getting yelled at and not knowing what he'd done wrong to deserve it, or how to fix the problem, was just the snowflake that made the roof collapse. 

Rather than worrying over hurt feelings, Francis was more concerned about getting Rudolf calmed down and addressing his more volatile fears before they got the better of his temper yet another time. The last thing he wanted was for Matthias to get weepy again if that were to happen too soon, because they'd both hate that. Already, Rudolf was more prone to losing it from feeling bad.

Francis also didn't want Rudolf to think his worries didn't matter in the decision with as much as they truly _did_. Klaus was arguably more sensitive than anyone else in the band, and he had already suffered plenty emotional distress and discouragement without getting the wrong idea on top of everything else.

And while the reasons Matthias had listed didn't excuse a conniption fit, he wasn't wrong. Seeing Klaus go through it had been almost as difficult for Rudolf from a mental standpoint, and that was just the unfortunate way it ended up coming to the surface. Though Francis had never seen anything to the extent of what he'd just witnessed personally, it wasn't the first time he'd seen Rudolf express uncomfortable feelings in a burst of anger, and he suspected it wouldn't be the last time either.

"We know that you are scared, and this makes you frustrated. We are not angry for that. But you still have to calm down," Francis finally insisted, after waiting a moment to let Rudolf get a grip. "You cannot yell as you did -it will not help, it is not fair, and Klaus would not want it. We cannot fix this like that. And if it was possible to make this better for all of us in one second, we already would do it by now. It is not, so we have to talk about what we can do."

Rudolf nodded again and sighed. He really wished they could have fixed everything that quickly, before they would have even had to worry about doing any work at all on the album without Klaus.

"Dieter has a suggestion, if we will have help to make our parts of the tracks here," Francis hinted, deciding not to push the issue of who to get further on Rudolf until they'd thoroughly discussed whether or not they'd get anyone at all. "We have some time to figure out the situation."

"I just do not want for Klaus to see us with other singer and think we will say he is done with us later," Rudolf admitted, flushing in his cheeks. "I have been with him, at hospital, before hospital -it has been _so_ hard for him. He is scared, sick with wanting to go home, and with the _pain_ -it is terrible. Even when I say we will wait-"

"That is something we will speak to him about." Francis looked at Rudolf kindly. "When he is home, after tonight -when he has had time to rest and feel better, we will talk to him. He will have his part in the choice. This is not behind his back, if you are scared of that. It cannot be. We want to make it easy for him, and what we come up with that can help, he must say so. He has to say that it will help, too."

Rudolf winced as he thought back to the first two days after the surgery, when even with drugs to numb his throat, and part of his esophagus, the post surgical pain was so bad, the mere act of swallowing saliva while awake and loopy on the drugs in his IV left Klaus in silent tears. How it was clear sometimes how much he desperately wanted to moan in pain, but he had to do everything to resist making the slightest sound or whisper so he wouldn't compromise his recovery. How he and Gabi made certain one of them was always there those first two days, even if the other had to step away. They made sure Klaus was never alone, and that he always had a hand in his to squeeze as hard as he could to keep from crying out when the pain became unbearable. 

Those first two days had been awful in every way possible for everyone at the hospital. It had gotten better since then, but the rest of the week had been far from comfortable. Just as Francis had suggested for all of them, if Rudolf could have done something as easy as clapping his hands to instantly make Klaus' pain and problems go away, he would have done it in a heartbeat, weeks ago, before the surgery ever happened.

Some things indeed had to get worse before they got better, but already, it had been nearly impossible getting Klaus to believe he had a chance of recovering fully ahead of the surgery. Trying to get him to see the point in believing it while he was writhing in uncontrollable pain and on constant watch to make sure none of the blood vessels around his vocal cords burst from post-surgical inflammation, or that he didn't get an infection, was like trying to drive one's head through a brick wall.

An impossible thing that Rudolf would try to do anyway, if it was for Klaus. Rudolf had been trying to bash through that wall all week long, and mentally, he was bleeding and exhausted.

And he was scared of a possible future without Klaus in the band, even after trying so hard.

With Francis' arm behind him, supporting his back, and his chin resting on his knees so he didn't have to hold his head up, Rudolf's bunched-up position was surprisingly comfortable. He figured he could have fallen asleep there if he hadn't been trying to talk to Francis, and if he didn't still have a dull ache in his head and chest from being so upset.

"He does not think we should wait for him," he said defeatedly. "He will not stop saying it. This is worse than before -with us all together, last time before surgery. If he does not think we give up, you know, he will tell us to give up. He will tell us, replace him with stand-in, even if we do not want to. If we get stand-in for guide tracks, he will not stop saying it."

"Klaus is going to say that, no matter what will happen. He can be stubborn, when scared, you know? You understand better than me, how he is stubborn. But _you?"_ Francis raised his eyebrows and grinned. "More. _Much more."_

He pointed to Rudolf, who was visibly trying to repress a smile at that, and ducked his head to hide his mouth behind his knees when part of it slipped through.

"Right now! See? You are. He will change his mind when it will start to get better. You will keep saying to him, we wait. And that you will not let him say that!"

"Oh, Francis, enough!" Rudolf finally unfolded his legs to let his feet rest back down to the floor, and with freedom to move his arms again, reached over sideways and playfully shoved at the bassist.

"Enough! Enough is right," Francis laughed, before turning serious. "You are okay, for now?"

Rudolf nodded, meeting Francis' look of mutual understanding. None of them were really okay for the time being, or pretending that they were, but he was ready to discuss recording without Klaus, and possibly go over the tougher options that struck hard at first sight.

"Do you need a break, before we try to discuss this more?" Francis motioned toward the door. "Walk, get something to drink-?"

Rudolf shook his head. "I will be okay. I still do not promise to agree with using guide track, if it will hurt Klaus."

"We do need to find ways to move this work to some place where it is proof it will be finished, before we run out of time and lose contract. We need to record our parts, so they see there is enough time in the songs we have to fill album, if nothing else. So that they can see it _will_ be finished at some time, if it is not at the time we wanted to finish. They can take it away from us, if we do not. But first, we can speak to Klaus. If he says he will not like it -that is different thing from acting like he will give up -we will not do it."

"If he says hard 'no'-" Rudolf continued.

"If he gives us hard 'no', it is no -we will not do it," declared Francis, laying his hand on the phone hook. "We fight for that if we have to, and we ask Dieter, 'figure out something else'. I will stay here on phone _all night long_ , if that is what it will take. Promise."

"Klaus will make the final choice. That is it. End of story." Matthias reentered, once again fully composed and with a normal speaking voice. The only signs anything out of the ordinary had happened were slightly puffy eyes, and a quieter demeanor, suggesting he was still feeling a little embarrassed.

"We will explain it to him, and if he says 'problem', we call Dieter back and tell him 'no'. If that is the situation, and even if we have to get a new record contract because there is nothing else we can do, that's what we will do," he reiterated. "We will deal with even _that_ , if Klaus tells us 'no' for this, and we cannot figure out something else. But I do not know if Klaus will like that trouble so much when he is back, so we have to think about that idea and give Klaus the choice to say yes or no."

Francis looked from Matthias to Rudolf, allowing the latter a moment to think.

The chance that Klaus would mistake getting a working session singer to help through guide tracks as scouting a replacement and become further depressed was frightening, but the struggles he'd been through with Rudolf to get record deals in the early days hadn't come without trauma that would make the loss of a contract scary in itself.

"That is a lot to go through, to make new contract. Other than Klaus and how it will be for him if we had stand-in for guide tracks, there is no problem for us on it?" asked Francis.

"I help compose most of the music this time again; most rhythm parts are ready to record -maybe more rehearsal on some," conceded Rudolf. "I can start. It will only be... strange, with Klaus not here. It will not feel right with someone else, but if Klaus is okay, maybe I can..."

"We can start with songs you are ready for," Francis agreed. "If you start the song, you will only need guide track to fix if it is too fast or slow, or if you change something. Hearing someone else sing in working times will be strange, but we will accept it. Klaus will replace it for album track. Remember, it will not stay there."

"Maybe. I do not want to lose the contract." Rudolf blushed slightly and pulled one of his legs back up to hug against his chest.

"I can rehearse with the demo tapes you gave me and be ready to do it with you," Matthias offered, slowly sinking back down in his chair and folding his hands together in his lap. "If guide tracks can help us to get everything as we want it, instrumentally, so it will be perfect when Klaus can add his part, I think it will save time for everyone. If not, we can at least make sure we know what we want it to sound like together. I might not like it as much this way either, but if it is how we must work, not everything can be so nice all the time. Sometimes it is just that way -already, it has not been very nice for us. You and Klaus, especially. If at least one thing can be more easy, at least for me, I do not think it can be much worse for being strange. There is nothing wrong with not liking it if we still get through it and make it right at the end."

"I like anything that makes it easy for us. For any of these reasons." Francis sent Rudolf an understanding look as concern visibly crossed his features. "So we know, _if_ Klaus does _not_ say no, all of us can _maybe_ be okay to have a guest for help. Herman already has talked with me on the phone about it this morning - _he_ is okay if we do. Now, we have to decide -will it make it more easy for Klaus? You know, how much does it help him -and if it is worth it to do it. We know it will help with how much time this will take, but what else can it do good for him?"

"This is what I am afraid about," said Rudolf with a sigh, knowing he'd have to repeat what he'd told Francis to some extent. "Klaus is -he still does not believe he will get better, with his voice. With the pain he has had, in this week, he will see guest singer, and he will tell us to give up. I do not know if it can help him, if it will make him want to give up. Even if he says yes, if it was for that, it will not help him. He will not be happy."

"I understand what you are saying..." Despite his self-consciousness from before, and his nervous tell of scraping the edge of a thumbnail over the skin surrounding the nails on his opposite hand, Matthias leaned forward to look Rudolf in the eyes again as he spoke. 

"...And I want for _every one of us_ to be as happy as we can be through this, but we need to work where we can -for all of us. And we need to make it easy for Klaus, where we _can_ do it. It will _not_ be easy, with anything we do. This -it's not to say it will make it that way for him."

"We do not want it to be any more hard than it has to." Rudolf closed his eyes and nodded, understanding that no matter what they did, the situation was already hard for Klaus, and it would be hard even if they did everything possible to make it easier. "We have to do whatever we can. Making the album is already lots of stress without this."

"Yes, and guide tracks can help, if everyone is okay with using them. But there are other things _we_ will need to do to make it good for all of us. That is just a part of it -if we do it."

"We will all help each other through it," Francis assured again. "And with you, we will keep telling Klaus we will not let him give up -we will have to show him that we will not give up on him, and that he is still with us."

"We cannot all go to the hospital -I know it was hard enough for Herman to get there today because they do not want so many people coming for Klaus, you know. They try to restrict how many people come into the hospital for just one person. But when he is home, there will not be any rules to follow." Matthias held up a finger, indicating that he'd get back from his tangent soon enough. "Being there for him will not be entirely on you -even if you want to be there more of the time. Francis and I can go to Klaus, too, if he needs for one of us to be with him, and if you need to be here or at home and it is hard for you to get to him that day. You will not have to worry about that. We can even try to make sure with the schedule that one of us is always with him when the rest of us are here, so that we can keep him a part of this, before he is ready to come here. Until he can speak again, it will be hard to let him know where we are and know what he thinks on the phone without one of us with him, and Gabi has a lot to do -it will be unfair to ask her to speak for him all of the time."

"Maybe he will not feel left out, and time will go faster," Rudolf figured, seeming to gain a bit of hope back at that suggestion. "He cannot drive to this place for sometime because of the medicine he must be on until he is healed, but maybe we can bring him here some days, too. I will drive him."

"That can help, when we begin to put more parts together, and we cannot show him on the phone or on single track player." Francis nodded. "I think it will be a good thing."

"He will not be lonely. But we can bring him here without using guide tracks -I _will_ bring him here some time. How else can it help him?" Rudolf glanced to Matthias, as if to confirm he was still calm and would listen, and the other guitarist acknowledged it with a subtle, thankful nod. 

"If we can bring him here to this place to listen to how it all sounds, it will make it easy to show him what we have done, and to know if he will like it. He can hear it, and he can say if he thinks it is too fast, or would like to get it faster, and we can decide before he will have to sing anything if we all like the structure, so he will not have to redo vocal tracks because of that. He will not have to sing a new track if we put in another solo or some other instrumental break -all of that, we will figure out before he is ready to sing again, and he will make the final vocal track."

"That helps," Rudolf admitted. "We can try to change the structure -how we compose the song, you know, before he will sing anything, anyway. Is it possible we can get it right before Klaus sings with it, without any singing? Do we have to change it later, just because we have an idea to?"

"Possibly," Matthias admitted. "We might not need to change anything. But it has happened before, we add singing, then we decide to add something else to make it longer, or take something out -that it will be better to do it that way -and everything is done over. We do not want Klaus to strain with take after take; that does not mean we should not still do the best we can, and leave the song less than what it can be."

"You are always kicking us to reach for more." Rudolf huffed a tired laugh after a moment of quiet. "That is how you are stubborn."

"It is for good reason." Managing a weak smirk, Matthias held his head up and crossed his arms, feigning willfulness, just for the sake of humor and lightening the mood.

"It is a good thing," Rudolf agreed, turning more serious. "And we did not always have it."

Matthias nodded and glanced downward again. "You were upset and did not mean it -you do not have to tell me. Enough. Please."

"We will try to not have to change anything after we record it, just in case, but it will probably happen once or twice." Francis shook his head and chuckled, stopping the exchange before it could go too far, and getting the discussion back on track. "It always happens, even when we try not to have it. If we have the guide track, we will get it right before Klaus has to do it, but we will try to keep it from happening too much in case we do not have help."

Matthias sneaked a grateful look at Francis. "If we do not and we have to change something and he has to redo it, we will make it work, anyway, because we are not going to just leave it the way it is. But if Klaus only has to do more than one take because he did not make a note, or he did not like the sound of his voice in some place and wants to try it again, it will not be as much strain on him. And he will not work his voice as hard before, if we still try to do a tour."

"I hope we can." Rudolf did a double-take at that thought. "I did not start to think about that, yet. Even when Klaus can sing again for the album, I do not know if-"

"We still have a lot of time before we worry about that." Francis cut him off. "One thing at a time. Recording the album, first."

"I believe, if he can do this, he will be able to sing for shows," offered Matthias. "This is not the time to worry about that, yes, but we will find a way that he can, when we know how he is doing after recovery."

"Okay." Rudolf nodded again, despite uncertainty still tinging his voice. "I think it can help him, to not have this be as hard while he is healing. I think..." He stopped and nervously gripped one hand at his side -the one that wasn't curled around his leg he'd pulled up.

"What is it?" asked Francis.

"I know we will keep telling him that we will not give up. He -I just-"

Francis' face softened with empathy. "You still are scared of what he will think if we have help, and of what he will not say that he thinks. Of that he will leave anyway."

Rudolf nodded.

"I get it, why you believe he will think that, if we get help and work ahead of him. That is okay, that you are scared of that." Matthias looked Rudolf in the eyes again. "But what will he think if we do not? We say to Klaus, we wait for him, and we believe he will get better. If he is to believe it, we have to act like it, too. How can he believe us if we stop this and he will come back to nothing ready for him to work with at all? If there is no more contract and no album to make?"

"No, we should do it, if he agrees. I understand why. I still need to think. And he -I want to tell him when he is not..." Rudolf trailed off again, swallowed hard, and rested his head on his raised knee, looking devastated at the thought of Klaus' condition before even describing it again.

Francis stopped him.

"Ten days," he said, holding out his hands with spread fingers. "If we can say yes or no in ten days -that is what Dieter asks, if possible. Maybe longer. We have time to not rush so much."

"It can wait until he is at home." Matthias held his hands up again, somewhat on reflex at Rudolf being visibly on the verge of becoming overwhelmed, lest it turn into another angry outburst. "Until he is comfortable, and can get some rest. It will be a good thing for all of us to wait some time to tell him, after this. Today has ...it has been hard. He is tired; you are _very_ tired, and emotional. We have made our part of the decision -his will come when we are ready, and _you_ are not going to be alone in helping him."

"Alright, that is done," warned Francis, as Rudolf finally unfolded his one leg again, and less than a moment later, was in Matthias' arms. "Watch _out. Both_ of you are going to get emotional."

Matthias rolled his eyes, which he was glad he could truthfully say were dry this time as he rested a hand on Rudolf's shoulder and waited for him to calm down and pull himself together before he got to that point. 

It was ridiculous, how many arguments over small things they'd had in the studio in the past, like the order of songs on previous albums, all of which ended the same way with coming to an agreement and hugging each other in apology for yelling and getting frustrated with each other. This one, though being far worse, and far more upsetting in the middle of it, was no different in how it ended.

Despite how stupid it seemed, or how stupid they'd admit it to be, none of them would want to have it any other way, when it was their silent confirmation: _we have made it right. It is over, we are okay, we are all still here, and we are all together._

"It is not over an argument this time. I _don't care._ I just want for everyone to be okay. And I believe we will be. Already, we are _still here._ That is a start."

At that, Rudolf gave Matthias an extra tight squeeze before letting go and pulling away. Matthias let out some involuntary mix of a squeak and hiccup with the sudden too-tight pressure on his ribs, and the confused look on Francis' face when he first heard it made the younger guitarist burst out laughing. 

Francis and Rudolf started laughing too then; it was all the former needed to confirm what he thought, and the latter blushed, realizing his over-exuberance.

"Oops," he realized aloud, only making Francis laugh harder, which set them all back off.

"Oh- _no!"_ Matthias shook his head and hid his face in his hands, half-incoherent with laughing. "Emotional, _and_ not enough sleep!" 

With the combination of half-resolved stress, lack of sleep, and the extra fatigue that came from crashing off anger and adrenaline, it took a moment to stop laughing over what otherwise wouldn't have been that funny. Just when they were nearly stopped, whoever was furthest from stopping made some noise in attempting to stop that got them all going again.

"Oh, God," Francis moaned, grabbing at his stomach and sitting back up. "Okay. Enough." He bit his lip and closed his eyes, trying not to focus on the two guitarists and get started again.

"I'm finished; I promise." Matthias turned away from Rudolf to hide when he almost started to laugh again, to make certain he didn't send Rudolf through another round of it, and finally turned around when he'd heard them all stop and knew he was done.

Rudolf wiped tears of mirth from his eyes. "Well, Francis, I was not going to get emotional, until that happened. Now I did."

"For a good reason," Matthias tried. "Better for that."

Oh, no; don't." Francis grinned and shook his head. "Not again."

Thank you," Rudolf whispered toward Matthias.

"It is okay." Matthias shook his head as he managed to catch his breath. "This helps, anyway. I feel better now, too. Okay, before we forget -Francis, why was Dieter on the phone?"

Francis gave another short, fatigued laugh. "I almost already did forget about it; I have to call him back sometime. Dieter knows a singer with high range. He is with a young producer, Michael Wagener. Actually, I believe his name is one Herman has talked about, from small shows in town, and says he is good. Don Dokken, I think it was. If Klaus is okay, he can help for us. It can help him, too. He is trying to start band of his own, so he will not stay, even if we did ask for it."

"That might be good for everybody." Matthias grabbed the note pad on the desk and wrote it down. We need to talk to Klaus, first, but we can keep note of him," he added, just to be clear it wasn't forgotten. "Rudy? Is there anything else you can think about that we need to discuss?"

"Just to talk to Klaus," said Rudolf. He still sounded more subdued than his usual self, but less nervous than before. "I think, if he is okay and we will have to get somebody to help, it should be him. We have been through that before."

Francis smiled. "I think that is why Dieter told us about him."

The phone rang then again, and the shrill scream of its bell tone left silence once again in its wake as everyone flinched at the sound. Rudolf stared at it with wide eyes, already growing tense in anticipation of the second ring.

"...Dieter, again?" asked Matthias, wearily eyeing the phone at the thought of more news to throw them for another loop, _just_ when they'd managed to come to a fragile agreement as it was.

"We will find out." Francis shrugged as he reached for the receiver, before the third ring came. _"Hallo?"_

Matthias and Rudolf watched him in pin silence, the latter on the edge of his seat and leaning all the way forward, trying to hear the voice on the other end.

Francis' face lit up with excitement. 

"Herman! What is it...?"

Rudolf sank back in his chair with momentary relief, before he lit up then too, even as unusually tired as he was, when he heard Francis' next words:

"That's great! So, are you -now...?"

Herman was at the hospital with Klaus, and he knew how he was doing.

"Is he okay?" asked Rudolf.

Francis held up a finger, barely holding back a grin.

 _"Wundervoll!_ I do not know about the others, but I will stay here some time longer -I need to call Dieter back. So tell Gabi to call here... Yes, I will see you some time tonight; that is great..."

"So what is it?" asked Rudolf, almost as soon as Francis said goodbye to Herman and hung up.

"Herman is leaving the hospital -he went to call us before he left. Gabi was back at hospital an hour before now. Klaus is going home -right this moment. Now. They are taking him outside to the car. He is tired, and it will still be some time before we can hear him speak, but his pain is still not too bad, like yesterday, and he is very happy to go home."

Rudolf closed his eyes and let out a huge sigh, as if something wrapped around him, restricting him from taking a full breath had suddenly released itself. He murmured something too quiet to distinguish, that Matthias recognized as being some variation of 'thank goodness'.

"He will be alright?" he finally asked, looking up.

"He is with Gabi, and they will be home for tonight in some short time." Francis nodded. "They will be fine."

"If they need someone for help, Gabi will call us," said Matthias, putting his hands on Rudolf's shoulders before the older guitarist collapsed. "If Klaus asks for _you_ , then you can go to him -if not, Francis or I will go. Go _home_ , get some rest, and you can see Klaus some other time tomorrow. We will let him have time at home in peace before we talk to him, if he does not need us sooner. And if he does, we will wait two days, at least, before we talk to him about work. This discussion is not over, but for now, this is enough."

"It is." Rudolf tried to smile with relief, as he got up, but now he was so tired and overwhelmed with it, it was hard to hitch up the corners of his mouth. "Francis?"

"I will stay here and call Dieter, and I will tell him we need to discuss it with Klaus. We can talk about other things he has to say tomorrow. I think we should stop today -we are at a good place." He stood up and pointed to Matthias, intent on seeing both guitarists out. "You need to go home, too; you did a lot, and you had a fright."

"It was not that bad," Matthias insisted, taking a slightly unsteady step out of the control room and toward the exit hallway, as his legs were still a bit shaky from crashing off adrenaline. "Well... I am okay. But, I will go home and take some time, so I am ready if Klaus does need extra help tonight."

Rudolf gave a final nod for the day toward Matthias, handing off his duty for the rest of the evening, this time, more willingly, as they made their way outside, while Francis stood in the doorway, staying behind to perform his own last task to ensure they would all be okay.

"I trust he will be well, and we will all be together soon, too."

And as Rudolf made his way home, back into the storm, the drive was easier, despite the increasingly frequent drops obstructing his windshield.

The rain falling, spraying off his windshield, and collecting in the trenches along the road were one more thing to remind him the whole way home, that even as the rain fell from the sky, it did not disappear. It was still there, and eventually, it ran off the road and found its way together again.

The band had been through a storm of trouble, and had fallen from the good times they had had, but they were still there. And Klaus, on his way home, was no longer down the side road toward another part of the city, but down the same, main path leading back to Rudolf's own home.

Already, they were one step closer to finding their way back together again, however long it would take.

Finally, Rudolf could trust himself to believe at the end of the week that soon enough, they would.

**Author's Note:**

> Can be seen as a prequel of sorts to my locked to members-only story, "Hit Between the Eyes", to give some background as to why Rudolf was so upset there (he's stubborn and crazy, but not as unreasonable as he seems when he's lashing out in fear). This might also be some angsty-vent fic to deal with a situation back in May 2020... Albeit, I did not get the slightest fraction of an apology like Rudolf gave here, and the verbal stand down I was in was far longer (two hours trying to talk it down), and despite doing my best to be understanding of their situation, there were multiple incidents afterward in which I was lashed out at, one of which led to a physical attack (thankfully, I no longer live with that person. While I could not help them, and they proved why I cannot forgive them -unlike the characters in this story -I honestly hope they get the help they need someday). I've tried to give myself a better outcome through this story, and while the unfortunate character in my place definitely suffered here, he had a much easier time... and I do feel better, finishing it.


End file.
